Updated on: May 1, 2024
Facebook Messenger’s secret conversations are end-to-end encrypted, which means that the only way to read your kid’s chats on the app is from their phone or computer. Plus, there’s an option on Messenger to make messages in secret chats disappear after a set time, so even if you are able to check your kid’s Messenger app from their own device, there’s no guarantee you’ll see every part of their conversations.
This makes it very difficult to ensure they’re engaging in safe online interactions, as you have limited ways of checking whether your kid’s exposed to inappropriate content, cyberbullying, or interactions with strangers on Facebook Messenger.
I tested all different ways to view secret conversations on Messenger. My top recommendation for monitoring secret chats on Messenger is mSpy. It’s one of the only parental controls that allows you to monitor your kids’ Facebook Messenger on Android and iOS and lets you see everything they’re doing on the app.
4 Ways to View Secret Conversations on Facebook Messenger
There are several ways to see your kid’s secret conversations on Facebook Messenger. If you have your kid’s phone and access to their Messenger app, you’ll see their secret conversations just as you would any regular message — unless they’ve set a timer, and the time for that message has passed. And if you don’t have access to your child’s phone, then use a good parental control app. However, I recommend communicating openly with your child about the monitoring measures first, to ensure trust.
Here’s how to view secret conversations on Facebook Messenger:
View Secret Conversations Using a Good Parental Control App
- Step 1. Sign up and install mSpy. Visit the mSpy website and select a plan. Complete the purchase and create an mSpy account. After that, install the mSpy kids app on your child’s Android or iOS device and follow the installation wizard instructions to finish the process.
- Step 2. Configure mSpy features. Log into your mSpy account on your desktop and go to ADD NEW DEVICE. Select your child’s device and follow setup instructions for Android or iOS.
- Step 3. Access Messenger monitoring. Go back to the mSpy parental dashboard and find the Facebook Tracking section under Social Networks. Once you click on it, you’ll see all your kid’s text, images, and deleted messages on Facebook Messenger.
- Step 4. Explore the screen recorder feature. mSpy’s screen recording takes screenshots of your child’s phone and can show you their disappearing messages before they’re deleted.
- Step 5. Enable the keylogger feature. It records all keyboard keystrokes, allowing you to see everything you child types into the Messenger app, including the disappearing messages.
- Step 6. Set alerts. Enhance monitoring with alerts for specific words or phrases.
View Secret Conversations on Facebook Messenger on iPhone
- Step 1. Open the Messenger app on your child’s iPhone. Log into their Messenger account with their Facebook credentials if necessary. Then, scroll through your child’s chat list on Messenger. All conversations with a padlock icon are secret conversations.
- Step 2. Find secret conversations with a particular person. Tap on the chat with the person and then on their profile picture and name in the top left corner of the screen, Scroll down, and click on Go to secret conversations.
- Step 3. See if your child has disappearing messages enabled. Once you open the chat, tap on the user’s profile picture, and scroll down. You should be able to see a Disappearing Messages option in the list. If you see the word OFF next to it, it means the feature is disabled.
View Secret Conversations on Facebook Messenger on Android
- Step 1. Open the Facebook Messenger app. If they’ve logged out, you’ll need their Facebook login credentials to log back in.
- Step 2. Search for the conversations with the padlock icon. Any conversation in your child’s messenger that has a padlock icon is a secret conversation.
- Step 3. Check if your child has disappearing messages enabled. If you’ve found a secret conversation, open the chat and tap on the friend’s profile picture. Scroll down to Disappearing messages and tap on it. If there’s a time period selected, your child has disappearing messages enabled with this person.
View Archived Secret Conversations on Facebook Messenger on Mobile
- Step 1: Open Messenger App. Launch the Messenger app on your child’s device and log into their account if necessary.
- Step 2: Find the 3-bars icon in the top left corner. Tap on this icon to proceed.
- Step 3: Select Archived. Scroll down and tap on Archived to open all your child’s archived conversations. These include normal conversations and secret conversations.
- Step 4: View Archived chats. You can now read through your child’s archived chats.
3 Best Parental Controls for Viewing Secret Conversations on Messenger in 2024
Quick summary of the best parental controls for viewing secret conversations on Messenger:
🥇1. mSpy — Overall Best Parental Control for Facebook Messenger
mSpy is one of the only parental control apps that monitors Facebook Messenger on both Android and iOS. Its surveillance features allow you to see all text, images, and videos your child shares or receives on Messenger, and it even monitors deleted and disappearing messages.
I really like its screen recording feature, which captures snapshots of your child’s Android device whenever it detects a change in the app, such as when your child receives a message on Messenger, so you’ll be up to date on all of your kid’s conversations on the app, including those that are set to disappear.
The keylogger, which is available both on iOS and Android, is great. It records everything your child types on their device. This means that even if the screen recorded doesn’t capture a message your child sent over Messenger, you’ll still be able to see it thanks to the keylogger. I particularly like that you can configure the app to alert you when your child uses specific words or phrases.
mSpy also comes with a web filtering feature, which allows you to block the Facebook URL. This way, your child can’t use Facebook Messenger through the browser. Plus, mSpy blocks access to the Facebook Messenger app on Android devices, too.
However, you’ll have to jailbreak your child’s device to use all of these features. For iOS, the alternative is a WiFi Sync or an iCloud Sync. The WiFi Sync feature allows you to get the latest content whenever your kid is using the same WiFi network as you, and iCloud Sync monitors your child’s iPhone using their iCloud credentials.
mSpy offers several plans that start at $7.08 / month. It offers separate plans for monitoring an Android ($7.08 / month). If you need both, I recommend the Premium ($48.99 / month) or the Family Kit ($24.00 / month) plan. Unfortunately, mSpy doesn’t offer a free trial or a free plan, and there’s no money-back guarantee.
Bottom Line:
mSpy is the best parental control app for seeing your kid’s secret conversations on Messenger. It allows you to see every text, image, and video your child shares or receives on Facebook Messenger, on both Android and iOS — including the deleted and disappearing ones. It also keeps track of everything your child types on their phone. mSpy doesn’t offer any free trials or a money-back guarantee.
🥈2. Eyezy — Screen Recorder to Monitor the Facebook Messenger App
Eyezy takes screenshots of your kid’s activity on Messenger. This means you’ll be able to see everything they’re doing on the app, including the disappearing or deleted messages in your child’s secret conversations. In my tests, it worked as advertised — I was able to see every conversation on my test device.
Its keyword tracker sends you an email every time your kid uses certain words. I used this feature to ensure that my child wasn’t having any conversations that included inappropriate or concerning words or phrases. Plus, Eyezy comes with a keylogger, too, which allows you to track every keystroke your child made on their device.
Eyezy’s also has a Social Spotlight feature that allows you to monitor Messenger conversations. But I had mixed results — Eyezy didn’t show all of the conversations I had on my test device, which was a bit disappointing. I think mSpy does a much better job at monitoring Messenger.
I found Eyezy difficult to set up as you have to jailbreak or root your child’s device. If you have never done this before, chances are you can permanently damage your kid’s phone, so make sure you ask for help if you’re uncertain about it.
Eyezy offers a mobile and a desktop plan. In order to use the screen recorder and keylogger, you’ll have to get the desktop plan, which is priced at $7.99 / month. It doesn’t have a free plan, a free trial, or a money-back guarantee.
Bottom Line:
Eyezy captures screenshots of your kid’s conversations on Messenger ensuring you have insights into all of your child’s interactions. It also tracks and tracks keywords and keystrokes, so you’ll know if your kid is having any inappropriate conversations. Unfortunately, there is no free trial, free plan, or money-back guarantee available with Eyezy.
🥉3. Qustodio — Set Time Limits for The Facebook Messenger App
Qustodio allows you to create time limits specifically for the Facebook Messenger app, which is rare among a lot of top parental control apps on the market. This allows you to control how much time your child is spending on Messenger. The app also lets you set a general screen time limit for your child’s device if you want to ensure that they’re doing homework and not chatting on Messenger.
Next to time limits, Qustodio blocks the Messenger app and the Facebook website, which means your kids won’t be able to bypass an app block by trying to access Facebook Messenger via the browser. Plus, I like that it alerts you whenever your kid tries to open the app or visit the Facebook site.
Unfortunately, Qustodio doesn’t offer monitoring tools for Facebook Messenger. So, if you actually want to check the conversations your child is having on Messenger, I recommend using mSpy or Eyezy.
Qustodio has 2 paid plans: Basic and Complete. If you want to set time limits specifically for Facebook Messenger, you’ll have to opt for the Complete plan ($99.95 / year). There’s a 3-day free trial and a 30-day money-back guarantee, so you can try Qustodio risk-free.
Bottom Line:
Qustodio lets you restrict time spent on Messenger and alerts you when your child tries to access it or the Facebook site. It also blocks the Messenger app specifically and the site on your browser to make sure your kid doesn’t get around your restrictions. It doesn’t show you your kid’s messages on Messenger, but you get a 30-day money-back guarantee on all plans.
Quick Comparison Table
How to Choose the Best Parental Controls Apps for Messenger in 2024
- Look for apps that monitor the Messenger app. Make sure the parental control app you choose tracks all forms of communications, including text, images, and videos on Messenger. For instance, mSpy captures even deleted messages on the Messenger app.
- Consider age-appropriate monitoring. Different age groups require different levels of supervision. More granular, detailed monitoring may be appropriate for younger children, while older children and teenagers may benefit more from non-invasive solutions. For example, Qustodio doesn’t show you your kid’s conversations on Messenger, but it lets you control how much time they spend on the app.
- Check device compatibility. The apps I recommend allow you to monitor both Android and iOS devices.
- Test if the apps are user-friendly. My advice is to choose an app with an intuitive interface, so you can easily find what you’re looking for. With the apps on my list, you’ll only need a couple of seconds to check your kid’s Messenger conversations or set restrictions.
- Opt for a parental control app that offers excellent value. The parental control apps I recommend not only show you your kid’s Messenger conversations, but they also take screenshots of your kid’s phone, track keywords, and even log your kid’s keystrokes, so you have full insight into their activities. I also included one parental control app (Qustodio) that’s less invasive that allows you to control how much time your kid spends on Messenger.
How Do Secret Conversations on Messenger Work?
The secret conversation feature in Facebook Messenger uses end-to-end encryption, which means only the parties in the conversation can see the content in the chat and nobody else — not even Facebook itself is able to access these conversations. The company designed it to give users the ability to enhance the privacy of their conversations, following in the footsteps of apps like WhatsApp, which is also owned by Meta.
You can set a timer for secret messages to self-destruct after a specified time (the countdown starts when the receiving party reads the message), ranging from a few seconds to 24 hours. This feature allows you to have conversations without leaving any information behind. It also alerts you if someone takes a screenshot of the chat, which is convenient.
However, the secret conversations feature raises concerns about potential misuse. For example, children might use this feature to engage in conversations involving inappropriate or concerning content. And since disappearing messages expire, you only have 6 hours to report a message that you believe goes against Messenger’s rules, so you have to keep a close eye on it.
A parental control app like mSpy tracks your kid’s secret conversations and disappearing messages by monitoring all of your child’s chats in the app. This way, you make sure that your child’s interactions are safe on Facebook Messenger.
Secret Conversations vs. Message Requests
Secret conversations and Message Requests are different features within Facebook Messenger.
Secret conversations are end-to-end encrypted conversations between users. Messages sent in secret conversations are encrypted on the sender’s device and can only be decrypted on the recipient’s device, a process that makes sure only the intended participants are able to read the content. There’s an extra option that lets you set a timer for messages to automatically disappear after a chosen time, too. This adds an extra layer of privacy, making it ideal for discussing information that you want to stay private.
Message Requests let users receive messages from non-Facebook friends. When you receive a Message Request, you have the option to accept, ignore, or block the sender. Once accepted, the messages move to the main message inbox.
In short, secret conversations are great for keeping your chats private, whereas Message Requests separate your main inbox from the messages that come from non-friends on Facebook.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can I monitor disappearing messages on Facebook Messenger?
Yes, you can monitor your child’s disappearing messages on Facebook Messenger with a third-party parental control app. My favorite is mSpy. It has a social media monitor that tracks everything your child is sending and receives on Facebook Messenger, a keylogger that logs what your child types in the app, and a screen recorder that takes screenshots of your child’s activities in Messenger. This allows you great insight into your child’s conversations on Messenger, even when they use disappearing messages.
How do I know if my child is using Secret Conversations in Facebook Messenger?
The Facebook Messenger app adds a padlock icon under the profile picture of the sender and next to the message when a chat is encrypted. However, in order to see this, you’ll have to log into their Messenger account from their device.
If you don’t have your child’s Messenger credentials, use a parental control app like mSpy to see if your child is using secret conversations on Facebook. The app gives you access to your child’s messaging activities, even within encrypted chats.
Can I use third-party parental control apps with various devices?
Yes, all parental controls on this list are compatible with a wide range of devices, including Android, iOS, Windows, macOS, Chromebook, and more. I was impressed to see that Qustodio even allows cross-platform support, meaning that you can monitor your kids’ Messenger accounts on all their devices.
Is it legal to monitor my child’s Secret Conversations on their device?
Yes, it’s generally legal for parents to use parental control apps to monitor their child’s device, as long as the child is a minor and the parent has ownership of the device. However, it’s essential to respect privacy, use such apps responsibly, and have open communication with your child about monitoring intentions.